I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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