I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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