i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
