how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
