Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
