Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
