And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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