Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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