He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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