So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
