she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
