So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
