So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
