I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You've changed since you got that strap on
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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