May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
