Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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