By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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