The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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