Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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