His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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