my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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