I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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