we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
