can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
