What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
