I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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