man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
