man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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