all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
