Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
