i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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