My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
