she smelled like a LAN party
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
