you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drunk is not a location!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
