summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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