i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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