you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
