Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
