i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize