so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
