Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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