tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
