winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
