sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
