Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
