Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
