with your own penis?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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