I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
