i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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