Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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