Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
