just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
