Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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