trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
