Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
