Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
