Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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(260): View more from Indiana

spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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(720): View more from Colorado

I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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(941): View more from Florida

I really should sober up and deal with this hangover

(941): View more from Florida

It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though

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(214): View more from Texas

One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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(835): View more from Pennsylvania

The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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(410): View more from Maryland

So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.

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