I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
