I'm so fucking centered right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
vagina is talking i cant
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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