Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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