I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
