Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
