we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
