So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Blood and glitter go together right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
