When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
