I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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